The two most popular British Sports are Football and
Cricket. I was no more than an eager
participant at both games. I have been privileged to be in the company
of
some of the greats in both sports and even been in the same team if not
in
the same league. Anecdotes and stories about these sports abound.
Sometimes
they are funny. Others...well if W.G.Grace was alive to-day, he’d turn
in
his grave! In the early sixties I used to make up the numbers for
Finchley
Cricket Club. Because I was unemployable I used to also get invited
to make up
numbers
at other matches. Finchley ,at that time, had a wonderful captain named
Ron
Howe. When you played for Ron every match seemed to go to the last ball
and
have an exciting ending. I believe he played Minor Counties cricket for
Hertfordshire.
Anyway on
this
particular summer's day he had passed my name on to a chap called John
Gardner.
John Gardner was a rich man who promoted and enjoyed cricket. I believe
he
actually paid for Worcestershire to go on a pre season foreign tour
once.
However he ran a cricket team aptly names FORK. This stood for ”
Friends
of the Right Kidney”. So on this day I was invited by John to turn out
for
his
team against
Esher
Cricket Club during their cricket week.
This was
indeed
a privilege. So after whitening my boots and pads and pressing my
whites
I headed off down the A3 to Esher.
By
10.30a.m.
I arrived at their most pleasant ground in leafy Surrey. John Gardner
was
there to meet me. A bigger than life man in all dimensions. In fact
someone
once confided in me that when he was batting if you hit him in front it
was
LBW and if you hit him behind it was a wide. I was greeted with
thestatement
” Wilfred Isaacs has sent two young South African cricketers down to
play.
Will you open with one- the other will go in No 3. Show them the
ropes.”
I cant be sure but I think these two young South Africans were Mike
Procter
and Barry Richards.
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The bar was
already open. Well bar is really a bit of a misnomer. It was a bathtub
filled
with ice and Lanson Black Label Champagne. To enliven the liver I
partook
of the bar and by 11 o'clock I was
in the mood to
face
Trueman, Tyson, Holding and Wesley Hall with no fear. Out I went to bat
and
scored 24 in the first 5 balls before being caught on the boundary off
the
sixth ball.
I therefore
had
a chance to return to the bar. By lunch we were 241-1 wicket. By now I
was
having a convivial time
with other
team
members. Names I cant remember.
One was a
former
captain of Northamptonshire who had turned up with everything but his
Zimmer
frame. whether it was his health or the Lanson
Black Label he
found
it difficult to walk and when we fielded stayed
in one place
throughout the fielding period.
Another was
one
of the Cheeseman family. Very wealthy with a Lamborghini
filled with
beautiful
girls. I think he parked the car with him at second slip. He played for
Berkshire I was informed.
There was a
thin
Thespian with shaking hands. In fact he told me he went to the doctor
over
this problem. The doctor asked him if he drank and he replied ” Not
much
I keep spilling it.” It was obvious he was going to be at first slip.
Then there
was
Gardner himself. When we fielded the ball would roll under him and he
would
stamp and ask if had stopped it.
Esher C.C. was
famous
for its Port after lunch. I remember having a convivial lunch of claret
and port with Esher’s wicket-keeper- a chap called Marques- who had
played Rugby
for England. Then to a comfortable deck-chair to sleep off the
excellent lunch.
I believe we
had
declared with some telephone number of a score and
Procter and
Richards
still batting. Now Fork took to the field.
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Procter and Richards had to open the bowling as
everyone else was either incapable, drunk, or in the case of Cheeseman
still dealing with one of his accompanying ladies. I don't remember the
result. However this motley lot in the field would have outdone any
Mac Sennett
comedy.
The
ex-Northampton
captain stood at either silly mid -on or off depending
on which end
was
bowling. The man with shaking hands was at first slip, John Gardner was
at
second, third and fourth slip with a bottle of Lanson at gully.
Cheeseman
seemed to appear to bowl but never to field.
There was a
character
wearing an Oxford University Blue sweater who didn't seem to have much
of
a clue. All he seemed to do was polish the ball and give it to the
umpire,
we later found out that his blue was for marbles.
To cap it
one
of the Esher batsmen, with the thickest pair of glasses I've ever seen,
when
asked by the umpire if he wanted to take guard uttered ” No thanks
I've played
here
before.”
But the
piece
de resistance was the player with the wooden leg. Whilst hobbling for a
ball
his wooden leg got caught in one of those holes from which the pitch is
watered.
It took two engineers and a doctor over twenty minutes to free him from
this position.
After the
game
Gardner asked me to put my name and details in his address book for
future
reference. The details on the line above were those of one E.R.Dexter.
That
was the nearest I ever got to the big
time. I was
never
invited again.
copyriteC Michael
Davey
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The Wessex
Tourist Board is
pleased
to support Chard Cricket Club. We shall be pleased to include reports
of
all games played. The Club is keen to get local youngsters involved in
the
beautiful game. There are teams from under 9s up to under 16s. Anyone
interested
should contact the Secretary:
